The Silent Compliance
What we say in no words at all to ourselves are the loudest words we’ll ever hear. This is the biggest thief in our lives. The quiet way we say to ourselves that we always have to be better, or we always have to look a certain way. That we are never good enough for ourselves in the current state that we are in.The berating that never ceases.
To Be Or Not To Be Ugly
Sometimes the way we go about trying to look beautiful on the outside is a clue to the ugliness we feel for ourselves on the inside. A way in which we cover up this self-contempt.
The definition of ugly varies according to each of us. For one person it might be having your hair styled a certain way or not having it styled a certain way. Not wearing make-up. And many combinations of the sort.
And just as it WAS my ambition to avoid looking like my creation of ugly, it is yours.
It is my Natural Beauty Tips suggestion that we embrace this head on and instead of running from our definition of ugly, that we try to look the part… at least once and awhile.
What? Huh? You must be crazy! You say.
My Natural Beauty Tips response to that is…
Is this fear of it helping you view life, yourself, or others any better? Yes NOT wanting to look ugly does help you feel accepted by others… but only on a limited standpoint. There’s always that lingering question “Will they still accept me if I didn’t look like this?”
“Would I accept myself if I didn’t look like this? Who would accept me if I didn’t look like this?”
Behind looking our best there’s always that worry that others won’t like us if we don’t look a certain way.
I’m not actually saying look ugly… my Natural Beauty Tips suggestion is find out what makes you feel uncomfortable (or what you define as unattractive and why) and if it’s a look you’ve desired to have but are afraid to have, then try hard to achieve it regardless of other’s expectations. Legalize it… give yourself permission and say, “it’s okay if I look this way because I want to.”
You may care what others think right now and while you’re achieving this look but in time you’ll ease into it comfortably. And eventually wonder why you didn’t do it a long time ago. The more you stop rebelling against your own personal freedom the less you’ll look at others and how they view you.
You won’t be trying to view yourself through how you think they see you. And surprisingly, you may find out that you were the only one who thought this newfound look was “ugly” to begin with. That your biggest enemy was yourself.
Contemplate why you fear it so much and then embrace it gradually by allowing yourself to actually look that way one step at a time until your fear subsides.
Secretly you may have always wanted to look the way you fear looking. This might actually interest you and be something you’ve longed to do for so long but are afraid how others will respond to it.
This painful endeavor for you to embrace your form of ugliness and find beauty in it will run its course to giving you freedom.
So how do you go about it?
To help boost your confidence you may want to check out these natural beauty tips ladies… Prema Qadir – Age 16 and Motown Girl’s Hair Diary (even if you aren’t African American or suffer from this problem) to get an idea of the courage it takes to be real with yourself.
Then follow these Natural Beauty Tips steps if they help…
- First, always remember this is something you don’t have to do… until you’re absolutely tired of living an emotional lie. That is if you feel like you’re living one.
- Second, never put a time limit to when you have to do this… always remember that you’ve got as long as you live—until you’re ready to do this. And when you’re ready you can start.
- Third, think about the things that make you feel ugly… you can write them down if you like. Then consider why you’re scared of being those things in the first place. And find some personal way to accept them. Possibly by reassuring yourself that there is nothing wrong with looking this way and that as long as you feel like you’re telling yourself the truth by looking this way that it’s everyone elses problem if they don’t accept you because of it. That you’re ALLOWED to look this way if you want to.
- Fourth, you can either do it suddenly or gradually—strip yourself of the make-up, permed hair, relaxed hair… or whatever it is that’s your crutch. And begin looking like who you are.
- Fifth, always know there’s a place where comfort and society meet. You can adjust your look according to both standards—still tell the truth by being this way while being accepted by others. Perhaps wear minimum make-up or adjust whatever crutch you have to a minimum.
- Sixth, stay this way or go back to the way you previously looked (it’s always YOUR choice)!
And as a rule of thumb always try to remember that it’s not our appearances that need to be changed… it’s our eyes and how we see each other and ourselves.
It took me years to come to accept the same natural beauty tips—perspective I’m speaking to you about. It doesn’t always happen overnight. Slowly it starts making an impression until you’re emotionally prepared to take action.
There’s nothing wrong with deciding not to do these things or wanting to wear make-up. Natural Beauty Tips isn’t put up to condemn those who want to do otherwise, only to help those who want to change their lifestyle in this manner. Just like reading stuff like that helped me once… it’s here now to help you.